I’m still here and sometimes I’m not sure why. But to go somewhere else my situation has to be fundamentally different. Where would it be? The only thing I can think is that in the U.S. I would work even if only at the holidays, maybe Halloween through Christmas. I would work at JoAnn Fabrics. Crafting heaven.

However, I’m expanding our house. I’m putting on the back porch that we had planned. It’s pretty big, 15″ x 27″, from the pump room to the edge of the house. It’s concrete like the house though rather than wood and zinc. I do think it will make the house more marketable. When it’s done and the house is repainted I may put it on the market and see what happens.

I plan on living out there in the summer heat. Plus, it’s another layer of defense against the mosquitoes. The shower will be turned into a faucet and sink, a drain has been plumbed. There is still clean out access. I’m going to buy a gas griddle on Amazon and cook out there. I’ll buy a nice indoor/outdoor patio set from the furniture import place in San Ignacio. It already makes the house cooler by shielding the back wall from the sun. We should have planned this when the house was first built.

I forgot how painfully slow the construction can be. It takes my patience. The dogs and cats have to inside all the live long day while construction is in progress. The gate is open. I don’t know if the slowness is a result of my being less forceful or if this work is taking a back seat to other jobs or if this is just how it goes. The work they are doing is good though. I hired HC. He’s not much of a communicator (laughing here) but if I really needed to talk with him I feel that I could.

The water pump has been replaced. I had it repaired only to have it break down again. The water heater leaked and leaked (remember???) until it rusted through. I replaced it last week.

If I sound productive I am being misleading. Every day I struggle. My new mantra is, “Laziness is not a personality trait, it’s a habit.” I still have ceiling paint (that I began to have taken off in January) to remove on the entire porch, our bathroom and the little space outside the guest bathroom. I haven’t repainted anything. I haven’t repaired all the little cracks in the plaster. But I have paint waiting in the guest room ready to go on the ceiling and walls if I can ever get it together.

I golfed for the first time in ages about three weeks ago. George had a tournament and I practiced a week in advance for it. There is a group of women who go out three times a week now. They make me laugh. We are all the same level of golfers. I remain consistently inconsistent. It does sometimes make me sad to be out there. The tee you created on hole #2 remains. The sand traps look great and the greens are consistently improving. I golf with your clubs. I can hit farther with them than good old Louise Suggs. B & R don’t golf there anymore. There’s infighting between George/FOG and non-Consejo Shores residents about fee structure. They did play in the tournament though. I was glad to see them there and sat with them after the tournament.

Yuri is in Bermuda at the America’s Cup (I know!! Right??) You would delight in his Fb posts and the photos he posts of himself and the crew. The sun has kissed him and he is as brown as can be. We haven’t communicated. Sometimes I feel bad for that and then I decide just to let it go. I haven’t lost anything that was ever there.

Caitlin is well. We remain close. Honestly, I don’t know how I would have gotten through the last two years without her texts and photos. Sometimes I am mad at them (both kids) for not coming to check on me. I know. I know. I saw Caitlin three times last year.

Two years this month, David. Two years. I wish more than ever that it had been me.

I was going to tell you. Susan, your associate, the marathoner, her son committed suicide. It’s still raw and new. He was very young. It’s horrible to contemplate.

Barry continues to soldier on. He has stopped formal treatments but is trying a homeopathic approach to diet and supplements. He looks well but I noticed the other day that his cough had returned.

Up until two weeks ago I have continued to work out with weights at the gym. When my trainer took a break, so did I, and when he went back, I did not. I found out that I liked not having to drive into town most days. However, on Wednesday I plan to return. I really do like it although I will be sore (again) when I resume working out.

That’s about it really. I struggle with what to do with myself every day. Repeat after me, “Laziness is not a personality trait. It’s a habit.” I’m not content to go to the bars every day. I go often enough and I don’t want to “drink another round” or justify why I don’t smoke weed when someone thinks that I should. (Seriously, it’s like high school!) I’m not interested in bingo or volleyball (I would be if it weren’t for this skin.) or Texas Hold ‘Em. I am averse to serving on Parks and Roads and even on the CAP board. I don’t paint or write and I’ve learned to live without t.v. during the recent renovation. The local gossip (there’s plenty of that!) totally bores me. Who the f— cares who is sleeping with whom. Besides that there’s not a decent conversation to be had. So, I struggle and turn around in this house willing the day to pass. Really, without work and without family, children to care for, what is there that is meaningful? JoAnn Fabrics….