I’m going over the old posts and making them public again. They are what they are. I don’t think anyone reads them anyway.
The weather has changed and the winds are in from the east/southeast. It whips whitecaps onto the water and the sound of the waves dominates. Clouds blow across the landscape in the mornings reminding me that the rainy season that will come soon.
When the sun emerges from the clouds it is hot. The temperature seems to be increasing incrementally.
I have to do the taxes.
March 2, 2017
I haven’t written to you for six months. However. I talk with you all the time. Your absence still startles me at crazy moments, takes my breath away and leaves me in stunned. I would have thought that would have passed by now. Then there is always the sadness that remains. Although I assure you that I am much recovered. You shouldn’t worry. I know you don’t. Lucky you.
We’ve much to catch up on.
Six months ago I made all the posts private. It just seemed like that was best. I have named other people in posts and that probably needs revised before reposting publicly. I still need to learn to set up this site properly. I’d like to keep my running journal with you. And I’d like to explore other things and talk about them. I did like writing here every day and I miss it. It’s therapeutic.
I’ve been dying to talk with you. O.K. Here is the bad news. B. has lung cancer. He’s been complaining of a cough for months. He was diagnosed (incorrectly) with bronchitis. Finally went to OW and received the news that he has a lung tumor. Since then an entire month has passed without further work up. He had a CT scan scheduled in Belize City but the machine is down. I bet they don’t have a repair person on standby like we had at Riverside. Even then sometimes our machines could be down for weeks at a time. But then we didn’t only have one machine.
D. is leaving to go to the States for a month. It sounds strange I know that she would be leaving at this time but I think she’s at her wits end. The solar/generator system has been limping along for months. I think B. is penny pinching and won’t invest in new components for the system. Many people have been out to look at it. No one ever fixes it and maybe they create new problems. Too many cooks in the kitchen. And now with B’s diagnosis she is the brunt of his frustration. She is leaving to collect herself and her sanity.
On the home front I am tackling this damn concrete roof. I hired B. and his brother-in-law, J. to do the job. They did work one full day cleaning the roof with a chlorine solution. It looked great. They then began to argue over who was the boss of the job and controlled the purse strings. J. walked off the job so B. and I painted on the base coat/sealer. By then I knew what has to be done and I decided to finish the job myself. Of course, it rained yesterday and delayed the work. I need 24 hours of dry weather after putting down the elastomeric paint.
J. told me he would mark the low spots that I know exist (I saw the puddles of water in them after the rain yesterday.) and apply thinset where needed. That didn’t happen. Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go ahead and apply the “snow coat.” Then if needed I will go back at some time and cut around the low areas and apply thinset before reapplying the elastomeric paint. Maybe not how you would prefer but I’m very tired of the paint raining down from the moist ceilings in the house. It’s hard to keep up with and keep clean during rainy season.
This weekend are the Independence Day celebrations. Remember the firetruck parade. The one firetruck? Hahaha!
Caitlin and Nutty are in Japan. They seem to be having a wonderful time. I need to touch base with Yuri. He is up Glouchester way.
Connor of the Caribbean is fine. He is always lying beside me, touching me, or climbing up on my lap. He can’t bear to be far away. He hasn’t been in the water of late. Crocs have been sighted. Newt is good. She lost quite a few teeth awhile back and her face is a little different now. I brush her teeth to preserve the ones that are left.
Oh, gosh. I get to this point and my heart starts to ache. The sick feeling of missing you returns. I still cry for you, not as often as before, but I miss you so much.
Love you.
Hiya! you in the ether world there. I wonder if you have the same problems that I do. How to be productive. How to live life. How to get through the day. Or do all those things seem silly to you now? Are you just drifting about like some Cheshire cat smile? Are you conscious?
I think I’ve been driving myself crazy over the big “what to do” to keep myself occupied and fulfilled. Maybe I need to start smaller with each day. I was reminded of Helen and Scott Nearings prescription blueprint which was (to paraphrase) four hours of work in the garden, on the homestead, four hours of education and learning and four hours of socialization. That seems like a bit too much socialization for me. 🙂 Better one to two hours of physical exercise, four hours of working on the homestead, four hours of reading, learning or artistic endeavor and two hours of socialization. That would be pretty good to achieve.
Got into the itchy, horrible stuff out in the yard but it’s only broken out a small section on my forearm. It’s manageable. I’m headed out there right now even though it’s the middle of the afternoon. I have to strike when I have the motivation.
Love you!
It’s Labor Day back home. Chrissy is working. I don’t know yet what Caitlin is doing. Anna and Ted have invited me to a party but I’m just not in the partying mood.
You would be so happy. The Columbia took part in the Gloucester Schooner Festival races yesterday and WON!
“COLUMBIA BREAKS EAGLE’S STREAK
The schooner, Columbia, a 141-ft replica of a historic Gloucester’s schooner, made its first visit to the Gloucester Schooner Festival a winning one.
The Columbia, launched in August 2014 in Panama City, Fla., captured the Mayor’s Race and the Esperanto Cup on Sunday, highlighting the festival’s annual races off Eastern Point.
The triumph by Columbia – a steel-hulled replica of the vessel that was launched from Essex in 1923, then lost at seat in 1927 – ended the three-year reign of the American Eagle.
The American Eagle, a 92-foot schooner built in Gloucester in 1930 and now home-ported in Rockland, Maine, captured the last three Esperanto Cup titles, besting the Schooner Festival field in 2012, 2013 and 2014.” (Ray Lamont, Gloucester Times, Sunday, September 6, 2015)
Yuri said the crew got pretty rowdy last night but he “knew when to call it” and is doing just fine today.
It’s four p.m. Not bad since it started out badly and I was ready for the day to be over at 9:00 a.m. I somehow made myself get busy and turned it around.
The oil & filter were changed in the truck yesterday. Replaced both burnt out turn signals and the air conditioner filter was crazy dirty and full of leaves. He said I need to replace the tires ASAP. Several people have said it would be cheaper to get them in the Free Zone. I will price them out at Caribbean Tire.
The attorney has already corrected our tax account bill. Monday I will go pay the little bit that was incorrectly assessed and receive the zero balance tax bill. I worried over that for nothing.
I wonder if you would have handled all this better than me. Most assuredly. I can see you at Jamrock maybe hooking up with someone in the future. She could ease your sorrow. 🙂 It would have been much easier paperwork wise if I had died. Let’s switch.
Lincoln, had me very upset today. He sent emails referencing appraisals that will be done and government fees that will be assessed on the property. I took my concerns to the attorney and she laid them to rest. I thanked Lincoln for looking out for me and told him I thought I was in good hands and getting good advice. Let’s hope I’m right.
You know the washer is not working. Even the drain hose to the tiny, semi-automatic, camper washer cracked so I haven’t done laundry in a few days. I repaired the drain hose and spent time catching up on laundry. I really need the big washer repaired. The camper washer doesn’t do the best job at cleaning clothes.
O.K. I finally got off my behind and took myself into town to do business.
1. Your name is different on your death certificate than on the land title. David L. vs. David Loren. A form in duplicate has to be stamped by the J.P. stating I verify you are one and the same.
2. A form in triplicate requesting that your name be taken off the title also has to be signed and stamped by the J.P.
She didn’t have her stamp with her today so I am to return tomorrow at 11.
Next order of business. I need a zero balance tax statement for the land. You were right about our property still showing as part of Consejo Shores. She printed it out. I have to make a trip to the Lands office in Belmopan, have the upstairs registry close out our current account and set up a new one then go downstairs to be credited for the last three years of payment. I know you’re sorry for this so never mind. The soonest I can make the trip there is Friday or maybe I will go Monday.
The kids have agreed to waive their beneficiary status.
I will ask Lincoln and Roque to be my appraisers and Maria and Karina to be my sureties. I hope they agree.
I made an appointment to have the oil changed in the Toyota tomorrow at 9 a.m where you had it done before, Johnny’s Auto. I need to get the running light bulb replaced up front still.
This afternoon I will research the light bulb and how to change it in those headlight units and maybe look at the washer.
Love you.
The last of our three original baby chicks died yesterday. She was a little over a year old. I found her dead in the coop. Those three, “the girls”, were so cute and would come running whenever we went outside. I was surprised by how much you liked them.
Now I am left with the two we got in Belmopan. I’m certain the white one is a rooster. He certainly isn’t tame and runs from me! When he begins to crow I will take and give him to someone in the village. The little hen can go with him. That will be the end of the chicken experiment. It was short lived. I gave them a clean coop, fresh water and commercial feed every day. There must be more to it.
I think I need to abandon any pretense that this blog is anything other than an attempt to communicate with you. I’d like to say it makes me feel better but mostly it lets me feel sad. At least that’s what I’m feeling right now.
The kids and I received a letter from the organ recovery agency. Your left kidney and liver were transplanted into a 39 year old male. He must have been in pretty bad shape. I hope the organs “took” and give him life. Your right kidney was transplanted into a 48 year old male. There was tissue recovery and another organ was used for biomedical research. I wonder if it was your heart? I hope so.
I went to the Millennium yesterday for the first time since your death. George is very kind and sweet. Bentley was there. Dena and Barry came after lunch from town. Rocque and Telli have been closed for their annual refurbishment. They are to have a grand reopening Wednesday. Oh, and Margaret came. Naomi stands out as a figure of youth against the backdrop of all us old people. Ken and Patty rolled in three sheets to the wind.
What news is there? I asked Bentley how things were going and he replied, “Terrible.” Oh, dear. I heard later that Bill’s competency status has been reversed. (This past Sunday Carole and he hosted a musical festivity on the bay at their home!) What this means for Consejo Shores I don’t know.
Dena and Barry were without generator power for over a month. They took a lightening strike that fried the mother board. After a month they were able to find a somewhat expensive, used motherboard, get it wired up and running. It’s only been cycling correctly for the last 36 hours. Their solar set up produces a trickle charge but is inefficient. Dena admits it’s been an ordeal for them. Daryl has been out at their house repeatedly to help them. (Sadly, he has resumed drinking to the point of stumbling out of the truck on arrival to work on the generator).
All of our mail was in Dena and Barry’s mailbox. There is a consensus that something should be done about the homeless man that sleeps under the awning near the post office boxes. The place is littered with food containers and reeks of urine. I don’t think I would mind if the area wasn’t filthy. I wake the poor man up every time I check my mailbox.
David, today is September first. I have been without you now for sixty one days. There are times when I still don’t know if I even want to go on without you. I miss you terribly. Everything at home is the same except it looks neglected. Weeds are grown up. The washer is dismantled and sits in disrepair. It’s been very humid and ceiling paint lies in large flakes on the floor when I wake up. Don’t you miss me going on about that? All last week I fantasized about moving back to the States. Today I am in the mood to remain here in this house. What I am trying to tell you is that I’m moving forward as of today. Be with me. Always.
I’m watching a movie in which Hilary Swank’s husband dies. She calls his phone to listen to his voice recording. I don’t know why I haven’t thought of this before! So on my phone I call your chip from my chip….and Kay answers. You should have heard me hem and haw my way out of that when she asks me who I was trying to call. Lolololol! I was crying and lying.