Monthly Archives: August 2015

Misc., Talking with David

A Day

How was your day? Mine? Thanks for asking. It sucked in general but it wasn’t boring. I didn’t lie around which makes the day interminable. Those are the worst.

Went running this morning. Ran into Chris, from Mayan Seaside. I wept when he asked how I was. I do o.k. until I’m asked then I can’t keep it together.

The insurance company confirmed my insurance has been terminated.  When I called associate benefits I was provided documentation that verifies my coverage is intact. I’m caught in the middle. I don’t have the energy today to do more than this.

Belize Medical Associates has not sent the detailed bill from your hospitalization. I have been unable to submit the claim for reimbursement to the insurance company. They tell me they will email me the bill “in a little while.” This is my second call to them.

Gerard came by and took the laser. Even though it was meant for him and the club I found myself resenting him. I emphasized that he can not take the trailer on the road until I can get it titled in my name and only then transfer it over to him. He couldn’t seem to get the tongue of the trailer to go onto his hitch. I could feel myself getting panicky and possessive of your stuff as he sorted through the hitches that we have. In the end I tried placing the trailer on the hitch myself and it went on just fine. Goodbye trailer. It has served us well over the years. There goes one more thing that I associate with you. You made multiple trips to upstate New York to transport all the remnants of the dome to Ohio on a little flat bed trailer. We transported the dome from the house to the building site in Marengo with it and hauled all our building supplies. It was still working for us here in Belize. Now it’s gone and so are you.

Adilio came by to check on me.  Actually, he came by to let me know his work is ending tomorrow in Mayan Seaside. He looked about the yard that has become overgrown. I followed his gaze but I said nothing. I don’t want anybody here.

As I move to get past the dogs out the back door to meet Adilio at the gate I note a stream of water is running from the washing machine toward the back door.  That’s right. The washing machine is leaking from underneath. Seriously? First order of business is to take care of the wet glob of clothing in the washer. I retrieved the table top washing machine and spinner, cleaned them up and set them up in the guest shower. We used them after we sold the house and moved into our mobile home. They got us by on the trip to Belize and they were still out in the shed.  I will have to minimize laundry though. Their capacity is very, very small.

I’ve never torn into a washing machine before but I need to identify where the leak is.

Oh, David, I have to tell. Kevin put regular gas in the Jetta (diesel). I know, right? I can just hear you! I don’t know the circumstances. He told Chris he realized the mistake before he started the engine so hopefully it will turn out well.

There were ants nesting in the shed to deal with when I got the washer out.

There was a little snake on the porch tonight. The animals found it. You would have been leaping about. Hahaha. I can just see you!

All in all I feel mentally deranged. Connor’s panting annoys me. If Tommy shakes his head once more I may have to cut it off. I’m not suicidal but if I go to sleep and don’t wake up it’s perfectly fine with me.

 

Misc., Talking with David

Bermuda grass

Remember the little patch of grass I planted out front. It has remained untouched for over two months. It was so tall I thought the weed wacker might pull it out by the roots. I cut the worst of it down. It still looks pretty rough. There’s a brown patch where the cistern overflow is located. Still, just for you babe. You wanted a little lawn. Take your shoes off and walk barefoot through the grass.image

Talking with David, Uncategorized

Money Honey.

Let me get this straight. I am, we were, not rich by American standards. That’s why retiring to Belize makes sense. Our American dollar yields us two Belize dollars. It’s not necessarily cheaper to buy things as it is more difficult to find the opportunity to spend like I would at home. (Note to self, my reference to “home” is still the U.S.) There’s only one mall close by and I have to do a border crossing plus buy Mexican travel insurance for the car to get there. There is no Starbuck’s, no T.J.Maxx, no Micro Center. If being able to shop at those types of stores is important to you then this is definitely not the place for you.

By Belizean standards I am pretty rich. I have two cars and a boat in my driveway. I have a fenced yard enclosing a 1600 square foot, concrete house. I used to consider it small. Now, of course, there is the tiny house movement. Thank you HGTV. Those houses are small as are the houses of most villagers. They shrink further when considering the size of the families housed in them. Sometimes I see a place and I think we should trade dwellings. They need my space and I really only need theirs especially now that I am only one.

Crazy talk, eh, David? It’s o.k., I’m staying put.

When David died we lost money. The annuity payment that David received will now come to me, is a lifetime benefit and is reduced by 33 1/3 from the original amount. We chose this scenario. We might have chosen differently had we had the prescience to know David would only last three years into retirement. After subcontracting back to his former employer he enjoyed less than a year in full retirement but let me continue. We lost money. I suppose it can be argued that no we did not since the total benefit amount remains intact and the payout is for life albeit at a reduced amount. Well, one down and one to go. Who wins?

The benefit is from a Fortune 500, large, stable company. While nothing is 100% sure it is more probable than not that this is a secure, lifelong income source.

If I die tomorrow the buck stops with me. There is no beneficiary payout upon my death. Assuming I don’t live another twenty one years it bothers me that the money David saved would return to the retirement fund and not go to his family. It bothers me a lot. I don’t like that I have no control over that money although at sixty three years of age my time to “grow” it is limited. I would have to grow it conservatively but at a rate that beats inflation.

Our kids are independent. They are educated. They haven’t required help from us in a long time. Both kids are in long term relationships. They are responsible for themselves. We are responsible for ourselves. End of story. I know beyond a shadow of doubt that David would have me take the pension payment and run.

But he died and it’s my story now. I have a penchant for spending. A friend once opined that I would die penniless because I was a spendthrift. That sticks with me. I had better be careful here. Very careful.

Rollover. Lifetime survivor annuity. Lump sum. Partial payout. These have occupied my thoughts for days. I feel that I am paralyzed and cannot move forward until I make this decision.

Misc., Talking with David

EXIF ⬆️ ➡️ ⬇️ ⬅️

Maybe you think I haven’t been working on the blog. I’ve been learning why images rotate sideways after uploading them into WordPress. Ah! I’m not sure how many times I deleted, downloaded and reinserted images before it dawned on me that it might be a problem others have had. That coupled with our slow  internet service has been enough to deter the most prolific blogger. I am persevering.

I read a profile of a “food blogger”. Does that make me a “death blogger”?